Gentlemen it’s about that time for me so I need your HELP. How much are you spending on your girls ring? Ladies, how much do you expect him to spend? Also, I see a huge Trend in lab grown rings. Me personally I am not convinced and want to get her a regular diamond. What’s your take and why? Curious from both sides.
I was just terminated from the deals group. I’ve let myself go in terms of my health and weight. I figured I’d use a good chunk of the severance time to get in shape over the summer and focus on my health but my friends and family are pushing me to find a way to juggle both and call me crazy for taking my time. My plan is to build a morning routine of fitness and work that into my new schedule when I’m rehired. Any thoughts ?
Lab grown diamond was a big no for me. As someone who appreciates jewellery more than just the look of it, even to think the story behind (or what the stone stands for) a natural and lab grown is the same is bonkers to me. That being said to each their own. There is a good case to be made on lab grown for labour practices, business monopoly etc. and I understand that angle fully. People who are like natural diamonds are marketing BS are the same ones who would be buying other brand names with no issue whereas everything is marketing. Your perfume is 99% alcohol and yet you still pay for it. Fast fashion has horrible labour practices, as does mining for your bathroom fixtures and what not. We did some browsing together and it was so much fun. I also went shopping with him for his band to get to know his taste. As to how much to spend, I didn’t want my man stressing over it. So it was hefty still but only because he earns more than enough to cover it. Don’t think he thought twice about the cost. I adore my rings. Had to take them off at full term pregnancy and it broke my heart.
I tend to agree with M3, I’m always having discussions around plastic pollution, fast fashion, animal welfare with commercialized farming, and general American consumerism. That said, I know I’m probably way more pensive than the average person. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Seems like you both got rings you are happy with and seem relatively informed on how they came to be, as long as you’re both happy.
If you're with a woman who will make an issue over rock size and lab grown vs. regular then you have bigger issues to worry about, my guy. Go with the smaller diamond, because you'll probably be divorced in 7-10 years and she'll keep the ring and take half your s**t with her. You're welcome.
Not at all, just trying to help out a brother.
Not sure why everyone is ripping on natural diamonds (and some on lab.) Wife wanted a natural engagement ring so that’s what I got her. When it came to other jewelry like diamond stud earrings and eternity band, she choose lab. Just get her what she wants and don’t overanalyze the why.
At the end of the day, this is the right answer, regardless of what other people think.
Been with my man 3+ years and have gone ring shopping a few times. We make about $350,000 household. I'd like to keep the ring under $6k. I know he'd happily spend $40k if I wanted, and that's good enough for me. I'd prefer to retire early and travel with him. The real test is how hard he's trying to nail the design. I've dragged him to 5 jewelers and changed my mind about 10 times now, poor bastard. His patience means much more than the payment lol.
Hahahaha ❤️
I am a woman, got engaged relatively recently and felt strongly about having a natural/mined stone. If we are going to play into the narrative around this made-up symbolism of a diamond ring, I would have felt like lab was "fake". For other jewelry in the future, I don't care, but for the engagement ring specifically, I wanted natural. My ring is not particularly large, but quality was important to both of us, so I think the retail cost was ~$16k. Interestingly, when I see a woman with a huge diamond, I used to think "wow her husband must really be obsessed with her," yet when my husband sees a woman with a big diamond, he told me he thinks "wow, their relationship must be entirely material". Also, with the proliferation of lab, the larger a diamond is (especially on a relatively young woman), to me, the faker it looks (because we assume it's lab). I'd suggest talking to your gf about priorities -- natural vs. lab, size, quality, shape, etc.
Did he tell you that before or after he spent $16k on your ring?
It’s not about the $$$ it’s about ring preferences. If you haven’t already, talk to her about what she wants. My ex spent too much on a ring I hated and hardly ever wore. Would’ve preferred to have a say in it so we could have saved money and I’d have something I actually liked.
I’d be scared for sure. What did you do with the ring?
I went with an heirloom ring, my great great grandmother's ring circa ~1880. It was a small diamond and the ring was in poor shape, so I spent ~$750 on having the ring refurbished and adding a pair of birthstones on either side of the diamond. My wife loves it and didn't care about the size, $$, or lab vs real.
Walked right into that one! 🤣
We went with a beautiful solitaire labgrown 3.6ct excellent cut etc etc and it was under $5k. My fiancée specifically wanted labgrown because 1) same atoms 2) natural involve a lot of abusive labor practices 3) Debeers company
Lab grown are for ratchet people who just want big rocks to flash. If your girl wants a big rock, now’s the time to ask if she can live within your means once you’re married. Most couples divorce over money problems.
My girl wants a 2-2.5 carrot. But she actually has never cared about anything flashy and we live great together, she doesn’t over spend and is not materialistic at all. BUT this is the only thing I know she wants me to get right. But she also would be ok with anything I give her.
I only want diamonds from war-torn countries.
OP - there is no right or wrong here in general. This is about your girlfriend - what does she like? What's are her jewelry tastes already? What does she wear day or day and what does she own that she rarely wears?
SM2 you seem quite bitter about the money you spent. That’s not anyone else’s fault.
This is very much a you and spouse conversation. I think more and more women are involved in the purchase decision (we’ll be wearing it forever). My stone was under $2k, bands were another $500. We could have spent a lot more, but I didn’t want to because it’s never been a priority for me. We went the normal diamond route because when we got engaged, lab diamonds weren’t very easy to find. As others said on regular vs lab, they’re basically the same thing less concerns with conflict of the stone, cheaper, and not a product of De Beers marketing. If we were getting engaged now, I’d want him to spend the same (or less) and go lab. My younger sister is getting engaged soon and wants a ~1.5 carat mid-grade diamond, not lab, so her price tag is looking more like $10-12k. Everyone is different. If you don’t want to directly involve her, have a friend / sibling / her mom find out what she likes.
Also, we did it together, and I highly recommend that. There’s still a beautiful moment of surprise when you drop the knee. Get her something she likes
You can buy a massive lab grown diamond for China for like $100. If she is demanding an actual rock for a massive amount of money... do you really want to be legally financially tied to this person?
Golden rule I learnt from my mentor many years ago - about two months of your monthly salary
How are engagement rings still a thing in this day and age… If my wife wanted a ring, she would buy one herself. And she would never want me to waste 5k, 10k or 20k+ as some have mentioned here on a ring. That’s just crazy. Especially when I think back at how much we made back then.
Why do you want a real diamond versus lab grown?
If you ever want to “trade up” many jewelers will not trade up on lab grown diamonds. I’ve had many jewelers share this with me when I was comparing.
De Beers maintained a near-90% monopoly on the global diamond market for much of the 20th century by controlling supply through the Central Selling Organisation (CSO), artificially creating scarcity to keep prices high. While diamonds are not as common as quartz, their high market value was largely maintained through, not inherent rarity, especially with the rise of lab-grown alternatives.Key Aspects of the De Beers Monopoly & Market Control:Creating Scarcity: Founded in 1888, De Beers bought up competing mines and excess diamonds to control the, ensuring prices remained high."A Diamond is Forever": A 1947 marketing campaign, as discussed on Quartz, was designed to create emotional value and discourage the resale of diamonds, keeping supply low.The "Site" System: Select "sightholders" were allowed to buy diamonds at restricted times and prices, allowing De Beers to control the flow to the market, as detailed in this LinkedIn article.Decline in Control: Their market share dropped significantly, falling to roughly 29% by 2022, facing stiff competition from, for example, Russian and Australian miners and the rise of lab-grown, as reported by this blog post.Note: While not as common as quartz, the perceived rarity of natural diamonds is often overstated, with the value more directly related to artificial supply controls, as explained in [this Medium article](https://medium.com/@mohnish.kamat/diamonds-the-rise-and-fall- of-a-single-familys-monopoly-d39e3c872dd8)..
Female. Didn’t grow up caring about getting married or having kids, now I have both. I swear to God I told my now husband when things were getting serious, that I didn’t care to make things legally official and that I was down to just have kids with him. He ended up proposing to me with a natural diamond and he even made a joke saying “it’s organic, grass fed”. Lmao but I share this because as someone who grew up in LA, I do most of my grocery shopping at Whole Foods, and I’m a yoga teacher so yes, I said yes to the natural diamond and it fit me and my lifestyle to a T. Hahahaha. I wouldn’t have adored a lab grown as much I think. Know your girl!!! (Or guy, I guess).
I think lab grown rings are pretty good, since the price is reasonable and you can save up the $$ for wedding and vacation.